Rule 2

We are true to ourselves when we speak our truth. We are alive rather than dreaming. Worthy of respect and love and admiration. We inspire others to act, inspire others to speak their truth and to discover who they really are. We discover who we really are.

But.

The Tiger roars at anybody whose Rule 2 Rulebook tells them not to speak their truth! And that is most people. The Tiger will tell us to please others, to confirm, to “go with the flow”, “not to rock the boat”, to be “nice”.  And we mask this with intellectual rationalizations. We should respect all (but not ourselves?) we should go with the give and take of life (of course, but are you giving too much?)

We don’t need to fuel controversy wherever we go. That is not speaking our truth. That is being scratchy and intolerant of others. But we do need to respect ourselves. Speak your truth.

Sat Nam.

A belated Happy New Year to all of our loyal blogees from me, and a big thank you to Blaire and Marc, our guest bloggers during my absence, for doing such a great job. I’ll tell you more about Blaire and Marc in my next post.

Despite having written Rule 5 into the Ten Rules for Taming Tigers, I hate asking for help. Which is odd, really, as I have never been disappointed when I have asked for assistance.

In December I had to ask for help. Serious help. And the universe, my friends and my family answered as one. Everything is now back in even better order than it was before, thank heavens. It was a big reminder to me that I am not alone and there is little of any real merit that I can achieve alone. “No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.”

Rule 5 stresses this idea (The tools for Taming Tigers are all around you) but perhaps for most of us the barrier is a Rule 2 thing. Challenging the Rulebook that keeps us safe from taking a little risk. The rule in our personal Rulebook that states that we’ll be rejected or thought less of if we need help. Our personal rule that says we cannot show vulnerability, we have to maintain our veneer of perfection at all costs. Or our rule that reminds us that others are busy and we are probably not important enough.

So here’s a thought. Do something scary today. Try an honest request for help with the thing that you’d most like to resolve. You may be very surprised at the result.

And a big thank you from me to strangers (now friends), friends and family who helped.

Here’s to a connected 2010!

Jim.

Rule 2 -Re-write your Rulebook – Challenge it hourly!

I’ve had a number of my Rules challenged over the past few years and each challenge has led to a new step in my life or the life of my business. Challenging the Rulebook is the cornerstone of growth and development.

The “Rules” I am referring to, if you’ve not read Taming Tigers or been to a Taming Tigers Live Event, is the collection of assumptions (that seem so very real) that we make about ourselves, the world and how we can and cannot interact with the world that keeps us safe from harm. And safe from progress. It’s that thing that is being examined in every boardroom, sales team meeting, shared services team meeting and production line meeting across the world at present as we have to re-think and move from the status quo faster than ever in our history – or disappear. Of course some companies were examining it and challenging it a year ago as a matter of habit and good practice. They have a head start. As always.

Whether an individual’s Rules or a company’s collective Rules, they only exist in our heads. I had Rules in my head about who could become a jockey (and 35 year old, unfit, non-riding fat men like I was were not top of the list). Luckily my mentor Gee Armytage (see Rules 1 and 5 if you want to find a “Gee” of your own”) did not have those Rules so I was able to race. I had Rules about being Taming Tigers Group being unlikely able to find staff with certain skills and attitudes to take us forward. Luckily those around me did not share those Rules and we have hired the talent that we needed.

This week’s second video is about the challenging the Rulebook. Your Rulebook. Your family’s Rulebook. Your team’s Rulebook. Your boss’s Rulebook. Your children’s Rulebook, if they are losing confidence.

So MIND THE GAP between your Rulebook and the reality of what could be done. Of course, you may be most interested in challenging that Rule in the Rulebook that says who you are attractive enough to approach in the bar! But more of that in the video…

Enjoy!

Jim.

I was up early this morning and had the radio for company. I started with Radio Four, the UK’s leading speech radio. After a while, that made me concerned for the future of my business – can anything or anybody survive a recession that’s certain to rival the great depression?

Then I turned to  commercial radio. Some music to brighten the morning. Within thirty minutes our own government had paid, with my cash, for me to listen to a child actress telling all of the nation’s children, busily preparing for school and the magic of Christmas, that their main worry should be that if she smokes, your mother could soon be dead. They then described to the children, and me, in anatomically precise detail the horrific internal injuries about to be suffered by a seemingly decent man not wearing his seat belt.

Enough radio. The Times had dropped through the letterbox. No respite. Later this week I will fly. At the airport the government has demanded that unemployed actors shout “any gels or liquids” loudly at me to remind me that there was once a suggestion that Colgate could be a threat to our nation and I will have to take my shoes off. Unless the man on the shoe machine wants a cup of tea. Then the security threat that my shoes pose lessens for twenty minutes, and the machine is closed.

MIND THE GAP. Fear sells newspapers. Fear allows politicians to re-assure and seem vital. There is a lot of hard work going into making you feel insecure at present. It is no longer a wild conspiracy theory to observe that this is very clearly intentional.

Sure we’re in a tricky economy and need to be smart. Sure we shouldn’t smoke and should wear a seatbelt. Sure there have been some dreadful terrorist attrocities, and we’ve carefully stirred that dangerous pot up further for the past six years. But most of us are lucky enough to be in fine health and financially surviving and not suffering in a cholera epidemic and, in the UK, far safer than we were during the IRA bombs of the 70′s. We’re not sending our children to fight in trenches. Let’s get a grip here!

Rule 6. There is no safety in numbers. Stand apart from the crowd. We’re very privileged. Don’t let “them” add to your Tiger’s roar today. Don’t let that roar come into your meeting rooms and conversations at work. Don’t buy your newspaper. Treat yourself to the Racing Post instead!

Enjoy it! Help others to enjoy it! Create a Rule 1 bold action and make something exciting happen today. Don’t let their Rule 2 Rulebook become yours without a curious and questioning mind as your filter.

Mind the Gap between what you hear and what you observe and relax a little.

Rule 2 of the ten rules for Taming Tigers is this:

Re-write your Rulebook – challenge it hourly.

This is not a cry to anarchy or to leaving behind a moral conscience. It is a cry to challenge the assumptions, not to accept “the way things are done around here”, to challenge patterns of thinking, like the ones that say “I’m no good at talking to people so I don’t!” and so on…

So give yourself an early Christmas present today. Take a few minutes away from whatever is occupying you and go for a walk. Put your mind to really good use on a problem that you are wrestling with at home or at work and ask yourself – what are the assumptions that I am making here? What are the Rules that I – or the world – are applying here that are stopping me reaching a great solution? What do I have to let go of here in order to get more?

It must have been tough to challenge the Rulebook that said that the Lycos/Yahoo banner-ad search engine model was “the way that search engines are done around here”. But I bet Larry and Sergey are glad they gave it some thought.

Set yourself free – let go of something.

Over to you.

Go on. Take a hike!