Rule 5

If you’d enjoy a reminder of the Ten Rules and how they can be applied, I will be presenting a webcast on Thursday 13th May  at 11am, please join me as I present the “Ten Rules for Taming Tigers”.  This webcast will be the first in a series of three that will take you on a journey through all the rules. There will also be time for questions.

The webcast is organised by the great people at MiP  and is free of charge -  click here to book a place and join the webcast.

Jim

Click on the image to view the Rule 5 video.

If you are a regular subscriber, you’ll know that I am giving a piece of the Taming Tigers jigsaw that cannot be explained during a presentation over four blogs. If you are new to the blog, you can find the previous installments here

The Ten Rules for Taming Tigers are divided into four groups.

·         The Integrity Rules (Rules 1-3)

·         The Leadership Rules (Rules 4-6)

·         The Change Rules (Rules 7-9)

·         The Esteem Rule (Rule 10)

Today it is the turn of the Leadership Rules to come into the spotlight.

The Leadership Rules

Rules 4-6  are called the Leadership Rules. We first begin to lead ourselves, take control of our own lives rather than being dictated to by our fears and those fears that we have made our own under  the influence of others (parents, teachers, spouses, bosses, etc). We also begin to interact with others in a different way. Being true to ourselves, we become able to inspire and lead them.

Rule 4 – It’s all in the mind – directs us to the chatter within our heads, the mad conversations between our “selves” and our “egos”. If we cannot lead our own heads, how can we lead others? We develop the self awareness to notice when the inane chatter is holding us back. This, in turn, allows us to make informed choices based on this information – to act as intelligent humans rather than accepting our initial reaction. To put our “selves” above our “ego” in moments of pressure and doubt.

Rule 5  - The tools for Taming Tigers are all around us -invites us to re-engage with the world as interdependent creatures, expressing our truths including our vulnerability, and allowing others to support, to fill gaps, to be inspired and get involved with us. It’s about “being real”, and authentic and builds upon the first four Rules. Dependence and independence begin to feel less important. We start to achieve together, to flow. We also begin to realize the mysterious truth that the person we needed most to move forward was sitting there waiting for us to ask, even if they had never heard of us before. We begin to realize that many of the skills and resources we need to act are already available within us. This result only seems to happen if we are following Rules 1-4.

 Rule 6 – There is no safety in numbers – invites us to consider following our own path. Not a path of independence but of spirituality (this is very different to religion). Our path of spirituality being the path that brings us purpose, meaning, integrity with our values, connection with others and the means to grow as a person. To fearlessly be the man or woman we wish to be rather than seeking approval or traditional securities.

Of course, as we lead ourselves, we naturally begin to be able to lead others.

Please feel free to post comments, thoughts and experiences.

Jim

Click on the image to view the Rule 4 video

Click on the image to view the Rule 5 video

Click on the image to view the Rule 6 video

A belated Happy New Year to all of our loyal blogees from me, and a big thank you to Blaire and Marc, our guest bloggers during my absence, for doing such a great job. I’ll tell you more about Blaire and Marc in my next post.

Despite having written Rule 5 into the Ten Rules for Taming Tigers, I hate asking for help. Which is odd, really, as I have never been disappointed when I have asked for assistance.

In December I had to ask for help. Serious help. And the universe, my friends and my family answered as one. Everything is now back in even better order than it was before, thank heavens. It was a big reminder to me that I am not alone and there is little of any real merit that I can achieve alone. “No man is an island entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main.”

Rule 5 stresses this idea (The tools for Taming Tigers are all around you) but perhaps for most of us the barrier is a Rule 2 thing. Challenging the Rulebook that keeps us safe from taking a little risk. The rule in our personal Rulebook that states that we’ll be rejected or thought less of if we need help. Our personal rule that says we cannot show vulnerability, we have to maintain our veneer of perfection at all costs. Or our rule that reminds us that others are busy and we are probably not important enough.

So here’s a thought. Do something scary today. Try an honest request for help with the thing that you’d most like to resolve. You may be very surprised at the result.

And a big thank you from me to strangers (now friends), friends and family who helped.

Here’s to a connected 2010!

Jim.

Here is the first of our guest blogs from the new MD of Taming Tigers – Blaire Palmer…

As the new Managing Director of Taming Tigers the 10 Rules are very much at the forefront of my mind. My internal screensaver, the thought that floats aimlessly around my brain when I switch off from more demanding tasks, is “Do I live by the Ten Rules for Taming Tigers myself?”. Every time I pose the question my brain takes the same journey through the debate.

I start with the answer – “Yes, I do. I am constantly challenging myself and my beliefs so I am re-writing my Rulebook all the time. I am a girl of action so I certainly act boldly. And I am like a dog with a bone. I never, never give up”.

Then I revise my opinion – “Well, I don’t always live by the Ten Rules but I’m only human. The important thing is that I usually act boldly and head in the direction of where I want to arrive and that I don’t normally seek safety in numbers”.

And then I say to myself – “The important thing is that I am happy with my life and my Tigers rarely get in the way of me having a fulfilling and successful existence”.

And all of this was idle musing while I went about my life until last week when I got the most horrible flu. Not “THE FLU” I assure you but just a nasty cough and headache which I won’t go in to because we’ve all had it and other people’s illnesses don’t make for scintillating reading.

So I was struck down by this flu thing but I refused to go without a fight. I was determined to plough on, showing that it takes more than the flu to stop me! Rule 10 – I never give up! Rule 4 – This flu is all in the mind!

And then I realised that there is one Rule I struggle with more than any other. Rule 5 – The tools for Taming Tigers are all around you.

And for those of us who pride ourselves in our ability to get stuff done, who are tough on ourselves (which is one of the reasons we challenge ourselves regularly and act boldly) and who take control of events which lie inside our circle of influence, Rule 5 is the biggy. It requires us to reach out to those around us and ask for help. The other 9 Rules lie within us – they require us being self-motivated, self-aware, self-actualised. But Rule 5 requires us to open up to others, to say that we can’t do it alone and to get them onboard as our support team.

Of course, as soon as I admitted I needed a hand, there was no shortage of offers. It turns out people had been watching me with slight amusement, wondering if I was going to ask for help or just carry on until I dropped. As soon as I whimpered “Could you do this for me?” the people in my life stepped up, delighted to have been asked.

As we enter the holiday season with its message of giving and receiving, remember Rule 5. Being successful in work and in life isn’t about doing it all yourself. One of the greatest gifts you can give is giving permission to others to help you. And chances are they’ve been waiting for that gift for a while!  Blaire

There is only one topic that periodical editors are asking me to write on for them at present:

“How do we get the best from our people/motivate our people when we really need them on fire like never before?”

Various articles are being penned at present and you’ll see them go up as clippings on the press page at www.jimlawless.com. I thought I should give you Blog followers an advance version of some of the main points though. I hope you find them interesting, certainly, but I have to confess to an ulterior motive – I’d like to create a debate and to hear your thoughts also. Let’s get a conversation going here. We can carry it over to Taming Tigers Facebook page if we need a forum environment – but let’s kick it off on here and see what happens.

My starting point on this is clarity. Clarity on five points:

Clarity about what it is that the organisation is trying to achieve -”A clear and vivid Picture of success”

Clarity about what the strategy is to get there – “A clear Roadmap to success”

Clarity about what the individual can do and is expected to do to contribute – “My clear Role in achieving success”

Clarity about the rewards for success and the consequences of failure – “My clear Responsibility for delivering success”

Clarity within the leadership about the task of creating and maintaining clarity. Visibly. Daily. The Day Job! – “The leader must learn to conduct, not play – and then conduct the same tune – every day, with everyone – to achieve clarity about… (start song again from “Picture of success” and repeat for the foreseeable future… ).

And for my money, and not everybody is agreeing with me on this out there, there is a sixth. Clarity about the reality of the organisation’s position. They may as well know that it is now or never if it truly is now or never.

It’s only my starting point, as I say. I’ll share more detail if there’s an appetite and you’ll see it in the articles. But come on people – what’s missing here? What are YOU doing right now?

I’ll send a copy of Taming Tigers to the best addition or alternative approach.

Rule 5 – the tools for taming Tigers are all around you. Let’s work together.