Rule 7

The most important part of Taming Tigers is not the achievement of goals.  It is setting ourselves free from our tired, well-rehearsed, out dated and unhelpful reactions to certain situations.  Setting ourselves free to make our own choices and then to act from our core rather than merely react “instinctively” (it’s not instinct, although it feels like it, it’s learned).

 

The only disadvantage of bringing the book alive with my journey to the race course is that the “big goal” thing can sometimes overshadow this more important point.  You don’t need to have a big scary goal to set about taming a Tiger or two.

 

Taming Tigers is all about self awareness.

 

Once you have started on that path – noticing how the Tiger affects you, what the consequences are for you and others and how to alter this process – something very powerful has begun.  Slowly you begin to notice the Tiger and reject its advances more easily, whether in pursuit of a great goal or whether in order to speak your truth, in a moment of pressure, to somebody whom you previously permitted to intimidate you, to light up your Tiger.

 

If you keep on that path (see the Change Rules:w Rules 7-9) who knows where it will lead?

 

Over to you.

 

Jim

If you are a regular subscriber, you’ll know that I am giving a piece of the Taming Tigers jigsaw that cannot be explained during a presentation over four blogs. If you are new to the blog, you can find the previous installments here 

 The Ten Rules for Taming Tigers are divided into four groups.

·         The Integrity Rules (Rules 1-3)

·         The Leadership Rules (Rules 4-6)

·         The Change Rules (Rules 7-9)

·         The Esteem Rule (Rule 10)

 

Today it is the turn of the Change Rules to come under the spotlight.

The Change Rules

Rules 7-9 are the Change Rules.   It is through these Rules that we begin to form new habits and make consistent and lasting the changes that Rules 1-6 began. Rule 7 – Do something scary every day -challenges us to create Tigers to confront on a daily basis, notice the emotional and mental reactions, grow in self awareness and mindfulness of this reaction and develop our ability to defeat the internal barrier – the Tiger.

Rule 8 – Understand and control your time to create change – invites us to form a new relationship with the most precious commodity – our time. The activities we choose to fill our time with are how we devote our energy – our life on earth. It is the notebook in which we are writing our story. When our need for approval or our neediness, our dependence on the chase for irrelevant prizes, our unwillingness to speak our truth (we often call this being “nice”) means that our time is “no longer our own we are deluding ourselves”. It is our own. We are making choices. The Tiger is roaring. We are not free. Our ego is in control.

Rule 9 – Create disciplines and do the basics brilliantly –  invites us explicitly to create new habits. New disciplines and basic standards of behaviour that will assist us to be the person that we know we are or that we wish to grow to become. They are also vital to the achievement of goals and prizes, of course. Vital to surviving and growing on our Quest. They are easy to write down. They require the previous eight Rules to actually practice daily. And they pay great dividends in terms of growth and self esteem and other more tangible rewards.

 Through these three Rules, we begin to consolidate the changes – to grow.

Please feel free to post comments, thoughts and experiences.

Jim.

 

 

Here is the second of our guest blogs from Marc Hogan…

Do something scary everyday

Back in 2008 I was happily making a living as a corporate speaker in sales, communication and influencing skills.  Then in August that year I happened to be sharing the stage with Jim Lawless.  I’d heard Jim speak before and knew the inspirational power of his Taming Tigers speech, but, I never expected it to affect me as much as it did…

At the end of the corporate event Jim Lawless told me that I was, “quite funny”.  Two little words that changed everything, even if I wasn’t sure if it was a compliment or not…

He continued, “Of course Marc, making a business audience laugh is easy.  When you’re talking about presentation skills, your audience is not expecting to laugh much, but a comedy audience, who are expecting to laugh, now that’s an entirely different proposition…”

“Actually Jim I think you’re wrong I believe the same rules can be applied to presenting and stand up comedy – you have to engage with the audience, be committed to your material and have great delivery”.

“Prove it” he said.

“You what?”

“Prove it.  Prove to me that comedy is exactly like a business presentation.”

“What, you want me to do an open mic night at a comedy club?  Ok then…”

“No, No, No Marc,” he said. “That’s far too easy, any fool can do 5 minutes at an open mic night.  You’re a professional speaker you should set your sights higher… or at least further North… I bet you that you can’t put on a show at the 2009 Edinburgh Festival.” 

At that moment my stomach back flipped.  I’d always fancied myself as a bit of a comedian, in fact I lie, I’d dreamed of being a comedian to stride the stage like my heroes Billy Connolly, Eddie Izzard and the great Eric Morecambe.  But I’d been to comedy nights before, they are like ancient Rome where comics are the Gladiators and the audience are the hungry lions and tigers.  The truth is I was petrified of entering that arena.

“Are you mad, Jim?  I’ve never even been to the Edinburgh Festival, let alone thought about actually performing a comedy show there.  I wouldn’t even know where to begin.”

My stomach triple somersaulted again.  The little voice in my head was screaming at me.  There’s no way I could do this!  It would be suicidal.  I’d never be able to do a one-man show at the Edinburgh Festival.  They’d eat me alive.  I’ve never written a joke in my life.  I’m only “quite funny”!

“Go on Marc,” Jim said, “Act boldly!  You’ve got to aim high, do something that scares you!”

“Jim, are you quoting your rules for Taming Tigers at me? For pity’s sake man!”

“You said it was easy!”

“No I said they were similar …”

“No, come on Marc, that’s your Tiger talking.”

Oh here we go, that blooming Tiger again…  My mouth went dry, and my heart started to beat even faster.  But I knew he was right.  I was scared, very scared but he had ridden a horse in a year.  I mean if he could do that, why couldn’t I take the challenge?

It may have been the rush of endorphins but I suddenly heard myself saying.

“Ok, “I’ll take the bet.  How much?”

“A pound!”

“A pound??” I exclaimed, “You’re the one who should be the comedian!”

“I learned to ride a horse for a pound.”

“Oh, alright then a pound it is.”

(Because let’s face it, back in 2008 a pound was a lot of money…)

“Lets write it down then.”

I forgot he used to be a lawyer, so I picked up a piece of paper and wrote down:

I, Marc Hogan, being of sound body and mind, agree to appear at the Edinburgh Festival in August 2009 as bet by Jim Lawless for the princely sum of £1.00 on 5 August 2008

And we both signed it.

When I got home that night I steeled myself to tell my wife.

“Darling… you know the Edinburgh Festival is on right now?  Perhaps we would like a romantic weekend away?”

She looked touched by my romantic gesture, “Oh I’d love to do that.  I’ve always wanted to see the Festival.” 

“Excellent I’ll book some tickets now.”

As I lay down in bed that night, I thought I’ll wait until we’re in Edinburgh to tell her – once we’re there she’ll think it’s a brilliant idea. 

Perhaps if I’d known the enormity of the task, I never would have accepted the bet, but as I lay there waiting for my mind to calm down enough to let me sleep that night, I found myself asking, “How hard can it be?”

As I was about to find out, it was going to be hard, very hard…

I later discovered most comedians spend between 3 and 10 years preparing before they even attempt a one man show at Edinburgh, I had less than 12 months to become funny….

Taking my one-man show to Edinburgh Festival for 21 nights was quite honestly the hardest and yet most rewarding challenge of my life.  I’ve Jim to thank for that.  I’ve learned more in the last year about achieving goals than I have in the previous 10.  The lessons I’ve learned have changed my life in ways I couldn’t imagine. 

My question to you is, what challenge could you take on in 2010?  What dream have you been putting off? 

You’ll never know how it could change your life until you try. 

 Marc.